Tuesday, 29 March 2016

A lament in pain!!

Parted the drapes gazed outside
There was a spring when looked first
Don't know where it disappeared
Dried out, it did like it never exist

Drought it is, I calmed down
Downpour would fill it again
Wait for the pours to reach these lands
Gazed to the gods and prayed in my heart

(“You bruised my heart..”)

Heard a low mourn from nowhere
Is it the winds howling and hooting
Listened keen to hear it again
A mourn in pain it is, deep and sad

Empty room with dull d├ęcor
Hangings all looking weird
I've been here before it seems
yet it is lonely and feels so strange

(“You bruised my heart
You bruised my soul....”)

I hear the cry intense and deep
Is it the winds lament in pain
Or the lost souls weep in dark
loud it is, shrill and sharp, burning my ears

(You bruised my heart
You bruised my soul)

Sunday, 2 August 2015

Random thoughts which mind grumbles!!!

How passionate a person can ever be about something? As locked up as the most deepest desire in my life, the truth was I always wanted the world to learn that from me. To me it was like, if you have true heart to win something over, you would have to fight for that, you would have to sacrifice everything else for that. It was like, “if you are not ready to die for something, then you are not worth living with it..”

But as true as that is, now I do accept the fact that things are way beyond our control. But I would rather prefer not to fool myself by saying that everything is controlled by eternity or whatever supernatural power we name it with. I am not questioning anything, any beliefs, any conventions here. Even when I say this, I can frankly state that I do believe in belief and faith and to me they are more powerful than any other force our scientists could ever identify and negotiate over in this freakishly funny world.

Just think of a barren land where we plant a small seed of a tree which we know will become a gigantic tree over years, name it whatever you want, because nothing comes to my mind now. I don't know who planted it, we may quarrel upon who did it but would that really matter? No I guess, at least to me because I am the freaking person who is writing this.. The seed sprouted, whichever way, it did get a lot of nurturing. Maybe, it adapted with the barrenness of the land or someone did purposefully nurture it. It started growing..flowering.. seeding... growing again.. Yeah, the seeding. You know what that means right ? Yupp, how can a person who has his nuts to all the righteous thoughts which this world exposes would ever misinterpret that. The seeds will fall down to the same old land fertile by the time, well at least not barren. Adaptation or whatever, the same process goes on.

Well, still do you think everything would be under control?

I don't know if that does make sense to anyone like it does in my mind.. Yeah “mind”, the wonderful piece of art. I seriously don't know what that is, but I did and still do use that word a lot. Not just me, everyone does. I hope at least one person who uses it actually do know what that is. As uncertain as that is, I would rather like to recognize it as an ability which actually functions in correlation with everything we are born with and everything we acquired over time..

Do you know something ? I think I totally lost my purpose. I forgot what I want to convey. Or maybe I didn't want to convey anything at all, just want to share a piece of my mind, or a glimpse of a thought which struck me before sleep or when I was halfway there. As long as we would continue to wake up in the morning, eat our bread, want to earn our bread and have the energy and talent to grab that bread, nothing else would ever matter. Why would it matter? We are men of needs and action, not of thoughts and conscience.. So, lets just keep it that way and wrap it up until we get to switch our priorities and have really nothing to do but just get sick and depend on other people, and by then we will have a lot of free time to allow our conscience to torture us..I mean old age, that's when people get back to all these thoughts and go eternal right? :D

Friday, 13 February 2015

De Music and Lyrics!!!

 We've walked across streets
holding hands
We've talked on matters
till day breaks

With hand in hand walking
through the roads
distance never matters
With heart in heart living
in the dreams
life never pains
yeah' life never pains (2)

We make the clouds brighter
We make the days shinier
Coz you're my sunshine
and I'm your rainbow

We've shared umbrella
when it rains
We've leaned on each other
listening our song

With eyes on eyes speaking
in the stillness
Time never flies
With soul on soul dwelling
in our heaven
Love never fails
yeah' love never fails.. (2)

We bring the symphony
We bring the harmony
Coz you're my music
and I'm your lyrics

Saturday, 17 January 2015

Nothing ever matters!!


Let me be here all the day
Do you know I donno ways
I get lost all the time
When I look around I see dirty filth
Dreams all filled with shadows

I walk around looking
for things I left
None could I find nor the traces
makes me all confused what I look at
Soul has turned shallow in years

But baby…
Nothing ever matters to me than your pain
Your eyes and your sad looks make me torment
Just wanna touch your heart and
Hold your hands so
No nightmare would ever make you low

Do you wanna play music
Play me like a guitar
Don’t you have strength
Take my powers its oozing out anyways
Life is all sulk and moped

Keep your hands on my heart
Hold it tight and slow your pace
Do you hear a twitch?
Beats at times though it is dreading remorse
Blood is all blue and frozen

But baby…
Nothing ever matters to me than your pain
Your eyes and your sad looks make me torment
Just wanna touch your heart and
hold your hands so
no nightmare would ever make you low

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Moideen and Kanjana..an untold saga of love

Ever since I heard about Moideen and Kanjana's love story, back in 2008 when I was just a wondrous and curious teenager who enjoyed never ending chit chats and back bench pranks, it has always made me wonder how could that happen in a very conservative society as in Mukkam. Moideen, being a boy from a very prominent Muslim family and Kanjanamala, a girl from a very prominent Hindu family in Mukkam. Well, love does not speak the language of religion is a very narrow reasoning, because in the real world it definitely does. Besides, Moideen and Kanjana lived in an era where the only means of communication was handwritten letters and long distant trunk calls.

I still remember that after noon lunch break in school when we had nothing to talk about, it was Jasmin who came up with this real life love story. At first, I thought it would be just another non ending philosophical shower where she is fond of shredding all her views and points as usual and was least bothered. By the time I started listening to the story, she had reached the conclusion. Out of my curiosity, on demand she repeated again and that was just a brief version. I must say, since then, this brief version of Moideen-Kanjana love story is the best story I have heard till date and would be remembered ever.

My brief version of their story begins like this;

As kids, Moideen and Kanjana were sent to the same school where they met. Exchanged their glances twice or thrice and one day suddenly everyone were surprised to know that they were in love. If anyone is to be blamed that would be destiny for sure, who knows, destiny should have some role in love as well. Otherwise, how would it be ever possible for two kids who knows very little about each other to fall in love all of a sudden. Over years their love grew stronger and one day Kanjana's family get to know about their affair and she was not allowed to leave the house anymore not even to meet her friends.

She led this life of imprisonment for nearly 25 years is what I heard. During this time, she was not allowed to meet Moideen even once, though at times they managed to exchange, more aptly, smuggle scribbles and small love notes through some common acquaintances and close friends. The specialty of these notes were that they were written in codes, as depicted in Thattathin Marayathu movie. Later Vineeth Sreenivasan made it clear that this scene was inspired from the real life love story of Moideen and Kanjana. Such a love where neither of them had seen each other in 25 years and yet were deeply in love, unlike today's love stories where breakups and patch ups are just a celebration and love is just a passing fantasy. My friend even added that not even a single time had they fought with each other. Can't even imagine how deep had been their relationship.

Though they decided to elope, they couldn't make it due to some family issues and emergencies like Moideen's father's demise. During this time Moideen wrote short stories, rose as a social hero, initiated and started charity foundations for the poor and helpless in the society. Though they both were getting aged, despite of the pressure from families side, neither of them got married to anyone else. They might had decided to live as it is until that day when the whole world would surrender in front of their love. But world or whatever natural force it is, might had envied their love. A mishap ended it all. Moideen was drowned in Chaliyar river while saving the victims of a boat wreck in Mukkam.

From what I heard, Moideen had saved almost everyone in the boat, unfortunately he could not save himself. Moideen's body was found from the river only after three days of the accident and when they got Moideen's body, both his eyes were eaten by the fish. After hearing this news, Kanjana decided to stop eating fish and her reason was “ Ente moideente kannukal kothiyedutha malsyam ini njan kazhikilla” (I would never ever eat fish which had bitten my Moideen's eyes). And its been another 25- 30 years and still she has never devoured fish.

Recently I have read in an article about Kanajanamala that she has told the reporters that, “When Moideen was alive, I lived a 25 years protecting our love and dreams and after Moideen left I have been living another 25 years to immortalize our love and to protect his soul”. Some life and love stories are like that, immortal in its own essence.

Kanjana leads a normal life, but as the unmarried widow of the love of her life. As she said she protects his soul and his vision by looking after all the pioneer charity foundations started by Moideen. She is still living and protecting Moideen's dreams, because if she doesn't do that it would be like surrendering to whatever force that has separated both of them. But they are brave and they would never sacrifice their love for anything.

Here ends my version of their real life love story. If you search around, you will also get many versions of their love story and soon the filmed version “Ennu Ninte Moideen” of their story would hit theaters. I am hopefully waiting for the flick, because in my words their love is yet another wonder. We say Shajahan carved his immortal love to a wonder Taj Mahal, if that is true then Kanjana is another living wonder who makes her Moideen immortal... :)

Monday, 6 October 2014


Living in a shell like it’s the world

Waiting for the sun to shine along

As long as you want them all

Staying still would lull them all

Life is a pale lament of dreams

Glittering like the fireflies of light

Long long years of hoping it'be

Usher yourself to see how bright it'be

(Break the shell oh’ baby

Why you wanna stay along

Fly oh’ high and live your dreams

Shine like you’re light of life

Light of life….)

Play with the winds and raindrops

Flitter through the canopy of woods

Wave your wings and spread away

Like seasons always give a way

Taste the sweetness of blooms

Refresh in the falling cascade

Breezes of the day is still here

Dusk would wait to be near

(Break the shell oh’ baby

Why you wanna stay along

Fly oh’ high and live your dreams

Shine like you’re light of life

Light of life….)

Monday, 15 September 2014

Let it go!!

Thought you were mine and
possessed you for long
As if you were my creator
and I was your angel

You killed me with your words
then you evoked me with your breath
Since then, my soul followed yours
like we were one and would be forever

I discovered the world in your smile
my face reflected in your brown eyes
Believed you saw my face on the moon
every night when you missed me

The day we met and the day when
you said I am your birthday gift
By whispering those three words
you made me the luckiest girl on earth

And then when you left without a word
all I did was to wait for your arrival
Keeping me in peace with my mind
but never did you arrive

I wore the ring you liked the most and
assumed you were always with me
Every time I missed you, I pictured
you in its three white stones

Finally, when you came back you brought
the feeling you were just a stranger
Not the bosom one whom I have
always held close to my heart

Now that I realize you were never mine
I am letting you go from my mind forever
Yeah realization comes late
but better late than never!! :)