A lament in pain!!

Well, I was supposed to wait till next week before bringing this post up. But today is actually something I would like to refer as 'realization'. Ever since I started bringing up my old posts and republishing it all, I have also been feeling like going through an uncalled retrospection..as it turns out much needed though.. Clearly there were things which were not sorted and today I think it is.. Yeah things did happen, even I know that but there was also a part of me who couldn't forgive my parents for their part in it all. Almost a week back during a heated conversation I actually told my mother that I am doubtful whether you would ever take a decision for my wellbeing. Yeah, I know..I wouldn't have ever shamelessly brought up this incident if it weren't for this day. All I can say today is when it all happened I thought it was just my life which got destroyed back then but turns out there were two other people whose trust got severely broken along with that..

Did it come out as too cliched ?? Well, not really, it was literally that..blindfolded trust. 

And today I know forgiving is too wrong a term to be used in that context but I can definitely settle down that thought and find my peace with it.

Well if I were ever asked as to what would have gone differently if it weren't for that case or arrest or related confusion or whatever, I don't know exactly but for sure things might have been different or maybe not. Doesn't matter anymore I guess, yeah time carries an elixir for sure. 

This was published on 29/03/2016 13:27..

Parted the drapes gazed outside

There was a spring when looked first

Don't know where it disappeared

Dried out, it did like it never exist

Drought it is, I calmed down

Downpour would fill it again

Wait for the pours to reach these lands

Gazed to the gods and prayed in my heart

(“You bruised my heart..”)

Heard a low mourn from nowhere

Is it the winds howling and hooting

Listened keen to hear it again

A mourn in pain it is, deep and sad

Empty room with dull décor

Hangings all looking weird

I've been here before it seems

yet it is lonely and feels so strange

(“You bruised my heart

You bruised my soul....”)

I hear the cry intense and deep

Is it the winds lament in pain

Or the lost souls weep in dark

loud it is, shrill and sharp, burning my ears

(You bruised my heart

You bruised my soul)

............

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.. and I also think the reason why I am bringing this post up today itself is because this is the last low post on my list.. and I don't want next week to be about this, thinking about it all or retrospecting or whatsoever. Today is definitely a good day to mark an end to all of that..