Unit - II - Mathematics for AI

 Just done with the first session of week 1 of Unit II of Trimester 1.

prof. kinda summed up my entire 12 years of mathematics in school in 1 sess. ..wowzie zinger 🤾

Focus.focus.focus..🤞

Deferment

 Defer cheyyuanu - Ist module. 1500 USD. Oru karyavum illathe oru 1 lakh olam rupa kalayan povuanu..course extend aavum oru 3 months enkilum, iniyum onnumuthal cheythu thudanganam ithuvare cheytha projects ellam. Oru 8 projects il 5 ennam innale submit cheyyanullatha, theerkan pattiyilla..e weight purathu ketti vechu swim cheyyan parayille..aa avasthayanu.. 2 karyal orumichu cheyyan pattum athu valya prashnam onnumalla last year um cheythathanu but ithavana athallallo avastha.. how did it all came into my personal life to torment me emotionally man..oru ideam kittunnillaa..enthayalum thalkalam dropout cheyyan udhesham illa, athukondanu epo e defer cheyyam ennulla theerumanavum.. nokkatte sheriyakan pattuonnu.. 

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Talked with my PM, have arranged a reattempt in the coming Feb. Not free of cost as I said but yeah it was on me and my problems so I would have to figure out a way and sort it all out..on it. 🤞God's just help me through 🙏

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April 24 - 2:41 pm

Unit II is Mathematics for AI. Released on 19th itself.. yeah this masters.. clearly not a part time thingy, full time fully invested is the only way through. Don't want to defer the whole units of a trimester, coz things are just getting started and if I don't learn a way to catch up, i would have to drop out of the whole damn thing or take a break or sabbatical or something, don't want that either. Gods 🤞🙏

Scratches

 There was a time when I said once you get up from that fall, everything else that comes along later are mere scratches. As someone who has seen it all almost end and gotten back from there, even the nooks and crooks of that sentence makes sense to me.. can't drop the zest, ever!! 

..but this 1 week old wound clearly doesn't look like a scratch now and yes I have been better, still I know its too soon to be all worrisome about the aesthetics and all such things..maybe I need a second tat, that too a big one..but yeah scratch it will be..

Extra pair of hands

 With all the workload in hand I have been juggling with ever since mom left to stay with my brother last weekend, it in fact was quite a lot for me to handle. Classes, projects, exams, work, household chores, cleaning, teaching, sleeping.. and well 24 hours too. Something wasn't just tallying up there. But then, once that little someone's exams were done..he just walks to me and asks loud from behind.. "മമ്മ അഞ്ഞു എന്തേലും ചെയ്ത് തരണോ" and with no further delay gets into his bit..sweeping courtyard, rooms, moping floor, washing dishes(his fav), chopping veggies, filling water bottles and ice trays, cleaning table, arranging his books and shelves, drying pepper corns and much much much more.. my extra pair of hands!!

Mid March 2024

Mid- March 2021.. എനിക്ക് ചുറ്റും എൻ്റെ മനസ്സിൽ പോലും ഇല്ലാത്ത എന്തൊക്കെയോ കാര്യങ്ങൾ എൻ്റെ സോഷ്യൽ മീഡിയ activities ne misinterpret ചെയ്ത്  എനിക്ക് ചുറ്റും നടത്ത പെടുന്നുണ്ട് എന്ന് ഞാൻ തിരിച്ചറിഞ്ഞ മാസം. ആദ്യം  അത് സമ്മാനിച്ചത് ഒരു ഞെട്ടൽ ആണ്, ഇത്രേം hard work ചെയ്ത് lockdown ആയിട്ട് പോലും ഒരു പ്രൊമോഷൻ ഒക്കെ നേടി aa kollam ആദ്യം പിടിപെട്ട viral fever അല്ലെങ്കിൽ covid  ആവാം, അതൊക്കെ മാറി platelet count okke normal aayi തിരിച്ചു സോഷ്യൽ മീഡിയ യിൽ active aavam enna ചിന്തയിൽ വന്ന എനിക്ക് കിട്ടിയ ആദ്യത്തെ തിരിച്ചടി.. ദേഷ്യം വന്നു ഒരുപാട് അതിൽ involve aaya ellarem njan enik vaayil thonniyathokke വിളിച്ചു പറഞ്ഞു because those insinuations didn't had anything to do with my reality nor intentions, I was not even that kind of a person whom they all made me look like.. aa ദേഷ്യം ഒന്ന് thanuthapo ഇല്ല ഇതൊരു misunderstanding mathram aanu, ithenik solve cheyyan പറ്റും എന്നുള്ള ആത്മ വിശ്വാസം , അതിൽ ഞാൻ നടത്തിയ interactions, njan respect ചെയ്തിരുന്ന വിരലിൽ എണ്ണാവുന്ന kurachu പേരോട്.. ആദ്യമൊക്കെ ഇതൊന്നു solve cheythu തരാമോ എന്ന കെഞ്ചൽ ആയിരുന്നു, എന്നാല് യാഥാർത്ഥ്യം enthannariyuo avaralum manipulate and insinuate ചെയ്യപ്പെട്ടു..trigger ചെയ്യപെട്ട ദേഷ്യം സങ്കടവും കാരണം ഞാൻ 'react' ചെയ്ത് ഞാൻ മാത്രം തെറ്റുകാരി ആയി. ഇതെല്ലാം ജോലിയിലെ performance ne bhaadikunnathu prashnam aayapo ente manager nte നിർബന്ധം കാരണം എനിക്ക് അങ്ങോട്ട് കൂടുതൽ shraddikendi വന്നു.. അതും പ്രശ്നം ആയി, ഇത് തീർന്ന കാര്യം അല്ലേ എന്ന് വിചാരിച്ചു പോയി.. but onnum തീർന്നിട്ടോ pariharikka പെട്ടിട്ടോ ഇല്ലായിരുന്നു.. enik ഒരുപാട് നഷ്ടങ്ങൾ ഉണ്ടായിട്ടുണ്ട് ഈ പ്രശ്നങ്ങൾ ഒക്കെ കാരണം, അതിൽ ഒന്നാണ് എൻ്റെ spontaneity, e quick surge of fresh ideas allenki പെട്ടണ് തോന്നുന്ന ഒരു കാര്യം അപ്പോം സോഷ്യൽ മീഡിയ ഇല് share ചെയ്യുന്ന ഒരു സ്വഭാവം ഉണ്ട് എനിക്ക്. ഇന്നലെ ഞാനും എൻ്റെ അനിയത്തിയും evening chaaya കുടിക്കാൻ പോയപ്പോ ഞങ്ങൾടെ ടേബിൾ ഉൾ വെച്ചിട്ടുള്ള ഗ്ലാസ്സ് water bottle njan cheruthayi ഇളക്കി, അതിൽ വെള്ളം ഇലകുമ്പോ അതിൻ്റെ prathiphalanathil aa water bottle nte backil ഇരിക്കുന്ന ഫ്ലവർ vase nte reflection njan record cheythu oru 15 second, Karanam background il play ചെയ്യുന്ന song apo 'kesariya Tera'.. ആയിരുന്നു.. അനിയത്തിയെ കാണിച്ചു അവൾക്ക് അത് ഇഷ്ടായി, പണ്ടത്തെ ഞാൻ ആയിരുന്നെങ്കിൽ അതപോ ഒരു insta story allenki reel okke aayi മാറിയേനെ. Epo athu angane alla, pediyaano nnu chodichal അനുഭവങ്ങളിൽ നിന്ന് ആർജിച്ച് എടുക്കുന്നതല്ലെ ധൈര്യം അതുകൊണ്ട് പേടിയില്ല പക്ഷേ maybe protecting that മനസമാധാനം at any cost.. enik ettavum valya ആഘാതം തന്ന കാര്യം enthannariyoo, എൻ്റെ എല്ലാ responsibilities um nalla bhangi aayi മാന്യമായ ജോലി ചെയ്ത് നിറവേറ്റി കൊണ്ട് ഇരുന്ന ഞാൻ എന്നെ നോക്കി misinterpret ചെയ്തവരുടെ കണ്ണിൽ ഒരു divorced single mom ആയതു കൊണ്ട് മാത്രം അനുഭവിക്കേണ്ടി വന്ന ഒരു തരം വിലകുറവുണ്ട് , അതെനിക്ക് ഇന്നും ഓർകുമ്പോ I don't know how I went forward despite those odds against me. എന്നിട്ടും അതൊക്കെ വെറും ഒരു സോഷ്യൽ മീഡിയ tug of war mathram aanenu വിചാരിച്ച എൻ്റെ real life leku athinte paka pokkal extend ചെയ്യപെട്ട വർഷം ആയിരുന്നു ലാസ്റ്റ് year, 2023. Oru karyam enik urappanu my trust and confidence in people other than me, that has been tainted and permanently damaged for a life time to live with..  pinne How can you connect the lose ends and do that accusation ennu chodichal തെളിവുകൾ undu, എൻ്റെ കയ്യിൽ ഉണ്ട്, evid em prove cheyyan പറ്റിയില്ലെങ്കിലും എനിക്ക് manassilakan pattumallo അല്ലേ.. ദൈവം അനുവദിച്ചു തന്നിട്ടുണ്ടെങ്കിൽ മുന്നോട്ട് തന്നെ പോണം aa തീരുമാനത്തിന് മാറ്റം ഒന്നുമില്ല..🙏 #MidMarch2024

Ee lokam enik chuttum aanu rotate cheyyunne ennulla thettidharana onnum enikilla, innevare dhaivam sahayichu mattorale kanduvechukondo allenkil aareyenkilum Target cheytho upadravichkondo jeevikanda avashyavum enik vannittilla..ente vazhiku ente karyangal cheythukondu munnottu povan enikariyam athil enikoru madiyum illathaanum.. prarthikkunnundu but iniyum ini e manipulation n insinuation thudarunnavarku enne engane venenkilum misinterpret cheyyano vere tharathil Vila kurachu kaanikano pattum ennum enikariyam..but njan munnottu povum..ennekondu pattunna pole..ente monu vendi.. karyayitulla orotta responsibility e ente life il ullu athu kazhinja 7 varsham aayi aa sthanakku irikunna ethoru aalepoleyum bhangiyaayi njan nivarthichu porunnundu..athinte aathmavishwasavum oorjavum mathram mathi enik munnottu povan..pakshe dhaivam koode undavatte 🙏

Malabar

 Malabar ഒരു ഇമോഷൻ ആണ് ഓരോ മലബാർകാർക്കും. ഞാൻ Calicut ആയൊണ്ട് Calicut is an emotion എന്നൊക്കെ look nu പറയുമെങ്കിലും food nte കാര്യത്തിൽ മലബാർ ഇസ് an emotion എന്നുള്ളതാണ് ശെരി. ഇത് വേറൊന്നും കൊണ്ടല്ല എഴുതി പിടിപ്പിക്കുന്നത്, അടുത്തുള്ള തലശ്ശേരി restaurant il പോയി വയറു നിറയെ വെള്ളപ്പവും chicken stew um കഴിച്ച് തിരിച്ചു വന്നതിൻ്റെ after effect ആണ്. Mix ennu കേട്ടിട്ടുണ്ടോ.. അതൊരു അടാർ ഐറ്റം ആണ്.. ഈ അപ്പത്തിനെ നല്ല സ്ക്വയർ chunks aaki beef varattiyathinte koode stir roast cheythu thenga kothokke ittu, roasted curry leaves and pepper powder okke spread cheythu e shallots okke ഇങ്ങനെ ആവി പറകുന്ന dish nte മുകളിൽ cheruthayi nurukki spread cheythu kittunna oru al-albutham..ithu evideya kittua nnu chodichaal e koothuparambu bhaagathulla chila thattukadakal undu, panoor - Calicut bhaagatheku pona highway il ulla kurachu thattukadakalil.. vere evidokke kittumnnu eniku valya pidi illa.. but life il orikalenkilum kazhichirukkenda oru item aanu athu.. athu pole chila special dishes undu.. thirunelliyile appam, mananthavadyile potthumkaalu, padikachal le kanjiyum kappayum payarum, pinne naganna yude farm house le  aunty undakunna paputtu, kadambuttu okke.. innipo oru steamed item try cheythu pani kittiyondu athinte transformation okke kazhinju innini cooking illanna theerumanam. Iniyoru 11:30 - 12 vare vishapadikan chance illa apo baking bad le pizza order cheyyanam..athode innathe makkani shubham..

Well nale eniku first semester le first exam and project submission okkeyanu..innipo 4:40 am nu thudangiya angam aanu, epo rest time.. ini nalloru urakkam pass aakanam..athukazhinju back to studies..

Apo Malabar.. Malabar nu njan paranjittunde orotta udheshame ullu..food.. athanganeyaanu..nerathe paranja dishes okke orotta trip il nadathunna karyangalanu ketto.. athine njan vilikunna Peru coorg round trip ennanu..athepozhum angane aanu, Calicut nnu wayanad keri kutta gonikoopa vazhi coorgleku, oru moonnu divasam kazhinju virajpet iritti vazhi Calicut..ithoru yearly trip aanu especially summer time..to be exact ideally adutha maasam sambavikendathu but ithavana mom will be in haryana, pappa most likely to and fro wayanad for the whole month, so Agnu and me blinkasya in blr..ee year poyi..potte..pinne ee madikeri virajpet road ille oru tropical rain forest okke pole full ferns um okkeyayi, full time humid aayitulla oru road, full look ulla vegetation so early morning drive aanenki adikam light onnumillathe oru adipoli ambience il angane povam..but rash road aanu, you know idakidaku mazha peyyunna well maintained allatha oru rustic road..paachumon (our Scorpio) undayirunnapo pachumone warm up aakananennum paranju pappa eduthu thudangiyathanu aa route for return.. innipo paachumon illa, chankathikkum (our Swift) aa route valya kuzhapam onnumilla..epo ente food plannings um koodi chernathode ee round trip route map angu sthiraaki.. 

Apo kanjikada..eniku ottum ishtam illatha oru item aanu athu..Pani varumpo mommy nellukuthu ari vechu(athu rice granules aanu) thenga paalokke pizhinju ozhichu look aaki kondatherum..enit athinte molil oru spoon uppum, kooduthal parayandallo but karkidaka kanji adipoli aanu..Kure items okke ittu, light green color il cheriyoru fat feel okke ulla sharkarayittu madhuram ulla kanji.. e kanji angane onnum alla..valya velutha Jaya ariyille.. engane vevichaalum vevaan nalla madiyulla ..aa athu thanne. Athingane nallonam vevichu udayan paaakathilaaki vellam oottathe kurachu uppokke ittu, thairo allenki kattikoodiya moro ozhichu thick aaki aa chechide mol ingane kondatharum.. oru valya vakkulla round steel plate il.. ennittu oronnayi accompaniments konduvannu aa plate il thanne serve cheyyum. Achaaru, payaru, Kappa puzhukku, meen curry, mulaku chammanthi, nallonam kanthari ittu undakiya omlet..angane..ithoru late lunch aavaranu pathivu, one of the longest lunch too..kazhichu kazhinjalum kurachu neratheku eneekan pattilla.. but kanjiyude oru prathyekatha enthaannu ariyuo. intake of carbs minimal aavum Karanam pakuthi mukkalum ithu vellathilalle ullathu..ennalum oru half hour koode avide irunnu adutha food destination leku..and btw honorary mention, ee olamenja kanjikadayude aduthaayi oru olamenja kada koodi undu, avaru choraanu serve cheyne and snacks too..apo ee kanjiyodulla prathishedhathil kappapuzhukkile masala thodatha Kappa mathram puzhungiya muttayude vellakootti kazhichu prathishedikkunna oru kutti item njangalude koode chernnathode adutha kadayile unniyappam, ullivada, parippuvada okke avanu kazhikanum njangalkum cherthu vangi pinneyum yathra thirikum adutha food destination leku.. 

Malabar..wholesome tummy speaking..

Women empowerment

 For days now, I have been receiving a sister who is devastated with her work environment. This is the same work environment where she worked hard for a client for years, from one person handling a single requirement of the client to handling an entire team which handles an entire department of the same client with multiple requirements. She handpicked all of her team mates, created a team and expanded the same team. Well that's her and I adore her for that. Then for a woman roles do change isn't it.. well it did. She had to leave for her maternity leave, even though she joined back she had to move to a different company which grants work from home, unable to handle the pressure and with struggles to cope up being a new mother and the new work environment, she just had to decide to quit altogether. Well that was not an easy decision for her.. but then somewhere she knew she has what it takes to come back..it's a guess. After almost a year of break when she decided to get a job she went for a role in the same field but with the manufacturing unit of a clothing company.. a month into that I have heard her complaining, ' I can't tell what it is exactly but there is something not right about the way employees are treated there especially women and it's not even the remuneration I'm insinuating on.. I'm treated right but I'm the HR manager but that's not enough, I can't continue working in such an environment..'

Within a month or so she entered the notice period unaware of what to do next. With almost a week to end that notice period, she was having pressure from this company to take her paper back but she dialed in her old manager and asked 'would you allow me to join back'. He didn't think much and arranged her an interview with their CEO within a week. And that interview was in fact a welcome back meeting by the CEO of her now company.. Even she was surprised but impact is not just a powerful word but also a powerful action isn't it..

I asked her once did you get your same client assigned and she said 'yes I'm part of the same team but not the same role.' yeah she was away for sometime even though she hired the person who is in charge of that team right now she didn't had any issues reporting to him. She collabed really well but there was something about this guy, maybe he couldn't handle her manners or something that he has been continuously reminding her that it is his team and she is working for him which by the way is so uncalled for because she was hired as an individual contributer considering  her experience and her previous role with the same team. There is a down sight to this kind of treatment from someone you consider your peer or pal, it affects your emotional and mental wellness. It has been affecting her every single day and these days she even has started asking to me that didn't I hire him, I remember negotiating his pay with Daimler and how I had talked him up to get that sorted and that same person making it all hell for me is not acceptable.. i don't want his current position and he is still handling only CAD not much, I think Kaanth(her manager) is trying to assign me CAA which has not been touched much after I left but it is complicated right now with a major lapse from our teams side. I couldn't help but notice the way she mentioned "our" team and I knew how much she meant that and that spirit  could be that one sole reason why she didn't mind his attitude. 

With a critical client meeting which is happening today with client asking for status update either to shrink down or expand the team she was feeling bad yesterday because she didn't get any of the materials or presentation copy even though she was also asked to join for client visit. And almost after our dinner when she checked her mail she was alarmed to see all of the materials forwarded to a loop by ++ ing her by their company's upper management and was panicking saying why are they doing this now.. and the entire night she kept on talking about how her incompetency will show in today's meeting, everything is happening last minute to her and all such sorts of bullshit.. i tried my best but then as I was working I thought let her get it all out of her system anyways she wouldnt have to lead the meeting anyways so it will all turn out right, consoled a bit and then I lended one of my ear to her.. 

I woke up early today to someone prepping up her pitch to land in a possible requirement to their team and I was like when did you go through all these materials and assessed that to which she smiled and replied, a few minutes back...

As I note this down, my sleep is effectively ruined for the day and I myself am busy on a testing and development activity using podman utility on Oracle cloud native environment using container technology, i meant there is a lot of Greek in me as of this moment which doesn't stop me from wondering and adoring that spirit which built up an entire team from scratch in the first place.. kudos to my lil girl and her spirit👏👏👏

With International women's day just around the corner, it is true that women empowerment has been that status quo for a longer time than we can recollect. As a woman myself I can confirm that there are really a lot of woman who deserve to be empowered and the society can trust in themselves by empowering these women as well but while we put in all of our focus on the concept of empowering are we also skilling the society to handle this concept of empowerment, if not, her dream, her ambition, her passion, her determination, her willingness to put in all the effort it takes is gonna scare the shit out of everyone who is yet to keep her upto the par or even regard her capabilities..the way I see it, the big picture looks like she is also trying to help out by taking in a part of all of that tedious work from the collective, nothing else..just a thought and felt like scribbling the transition I witnessed a few hours back.. all the best to my sissy, I know she very well can break that leg ✊🤞

I should have waited to announce my champion of this women's day right but what I witnessed today morning can't go without a mention..oh my goodness..

Feb 25' 24

 What is it that I'm feeling right now ?

About that problem..

It's definitely not a block because I know exactly what I have to write down here, even it's headers, footers and everything in between.. maybe what have gotten into me is an overwhelming feeling.. as in I don't wanna do it here. I mean this feeling and this peace, me and my folks are experiencing, if it comes out of me because I couldn't contain it and we loose it altogether once again, no that's not worth it.. maybe I'm gonna keep it for a later time because I have to write it down someday.

So yeah lets keep that percentage at 50:50. When peace is established within, it is often a delinquency to show it off because that's how you invite it's kick off..

Well my second year orientation started yesterday and today I have atleast 3 hours of industrial sessions and a loads of manuals to go through.. unlike last year it's all super tight this time. So I have to be super focused..🤞

Whats out of my control..

There is a way in which we are being taught we dont have to be affected by what's not in our control but then why does one feel like a bag of cotton immersed in water, so weighted, so tied down when it happens ? Somethings are just for theorems.. well when it happens my daily routine, work, everything suffers and it's often that track filled with potholes. With what is about to happen to my schedules I do have zero accomodation level for potholes anymore.. so yeah if at all I have to go blind or even ruthless to attain that level, that's what I would need..Gods, please be on my side..

I mean my work doesn't have to suffer, my studies doesn't have to suffer, my folks doesn't have to be bothered, my manager doesn't have to take unnecessary tension and all these emotional torment for nothing.. that's not in anyone's goodwill. I can pull out a win-win but accountability is not everyone's cup of tea so yeah I ain't baiting in..

I wish not to be drained out, better time management, better focus, only peaceful things happening to my family from now on, every piece of hard work finding fruition..well nothing much. God's just keep listening and understand I will do everything I can to make it all happen but there are way too many things which are out of my control, so be on my side..🙏

Feb 17' 24 - Transitions

 

അമ്മയുടെ വീട്..

Transition 2.0.. Devika..

Atomic habits points out that as a person who lives in a society his/her habits tend to be influenced the most by three factors..

.one's environment and surrounding factors

.peers/kins

.other influential people

One thing I can confirm is that it is a fact..

 And yes I did say this transition is about growth and growth sometimes is also about unlearning and relearning too..

Stay true to yourself, believe in yourself, believe in your clarity and believe in your reality too 🙏 rest anyways is never upto you and is often out of your control too..

Will be back on Feb 25th..this was just something which was long due as I was not in the right frame of mind then..

And yes, let's put that other ratio at 45: 55 now..

Good news.. Bad news

 Yes it is Jan 20th!!

What does it look like..

20%.. 80% 

or maybe 30% ish.. 70% (but this is solid)

Can I work with that ?  YES because a part of that good news is I got me, yes BACK ON TRACK!!

Will be back on Feb 25th..

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And then wrapping up my Jan 20th 2024 today by submitting all the official documents to the University for my M.S..

A small snippet to remember this day by and what I wish should follow the coming year..🤞🙏

Jan 20th

 For obvious reasons I felt like writing this down today..

Jan 20th, 2022 was the extended due date day I was supposed to renew my registered domain so that I wouldn't lose the domain name. That domain i registered on 31st December, 2019. That night I didn't sleep at all and made it a scene on my twitter account because some willful decisions to let go of things which you hold on to can cause that kind of impact on a person is what I believe in and have experienced as well. On 21st Jan morning after 2 hours or so of sleeping, I woke up around 8:10 am or so and deleted all of those tweets, added a new tweet (obviously with an obstinate remark or something). That day what I decided to give up was 2 years of research, hardwork, efforts to build something on my own..sometimes 'self made women' is that glitch.. thought of turning it all into a lifestyle blog which can eventually be liaised with my plans..two or three weeks into that I realised that was not me. Deleted all of those posts on that domains insta account converted it into a private account and preserved it for research and so.

I know my designing skills have improved, my ideation, determination, tolerance level..all of these have improved. and yes that dream I gave up on 20th Jan is converted into a plot now( money never loses value just gets converted into a different mode)..and if I ever want to build all of that dream again, I would have to definitely find a better domain name, yeah..

I'm just listing out my progress since last two years..not much but yeah baby steps every single day is also something, isn't it..

Im taking a break from this blog till 20th Jan, because yeah I need that time to myself..