Gaslighting

Let's make this one short..

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional abuse which involves manipulating someone into doubting or disbelieving their experiences, feelings, perceptions of reality or even their sanity. It involves a pattern of continued behaviour often involving outright manipulation and denying visible facts or experiences.

It can exist interpersonally between individuals in a relationship and on a societal level for example between politicians and civilians.

Psychological and emotional signs and symptoms:

• Compulsive worrying that you are interpreting things wrong or being over sensitive

• Thinking everything is your fault

• Mismatch between others words and actions

• Trouble in decision making

• Blame shifting onto you.

• Inconsistent behavioral patterns, like one minute you matter and next you don't

• Feeling confused or uncertain about your memory

Classic Word plays :

• "you're crazy"

• "you're sensitive/dramatic"

• "it was a joke/learn to take a joke"

• "i would never do that to you. Do you really think that little of me ? "

•  "why do you always play the victim?"

• " i didn't say that, you heard me wrong."

• " why can't you just let it go, it was just a joke."

• " you are making a big deal out of nothing"

Impact :

Gaslighting can impact you emotionally, psychologically and even physically in the long run..

• Lack of self trust and intuition

• Constant apologizing and people pleasing

• Difficulty in making decisions and sticking to it

• Second guessing your reality or experiences

• Decreased confidence and increased self doubt

• Questioning yourself and your identity

• Increasingly self critical

• Anxiety over decision making and in general

Combat gaslighting:

When your sense of reality itself is being affected, the most difficult challenge is to identify a gaslighting situation. Consider consulting peers or an awareness program or even a shrink ( in case if it is long term), discuss things from your perception level and get the entire situation validated by a third person and their views on it. Once you identify it as gaslighting the one and only one effective way to combat gaslighting is to remove yourself from the situation and to distance yourself from the individual or the group of individuals gaslighting you.

If you can't remove yourself(as in case of a relationship), try responding as :

• " No arguments on what I experienced"

• " I remember that differently even if I don't want to talk about it"

• " My feelings and perception of what happened are valid even if you don't validate it "

• " I hear you but that isn't how I experienced it"

• " If you continue invalidating me and my feelings, let's not discuss it any further"

If you think you are experiencing gaslighting, you deserve to know this from me, you are not crazy, just trust your sense of reality.

Happy and soulful living!!!! 😊✌️