Up until recently I had this stupidest habit of cropping my actual images to make it all look like almost a passport size photo before uploading any picture of mine on any social networking site. Now that I look back there is no such significant reason as to why.. maybe the first time I had to face Eve teasing was back in college when I wore my cutest off-white short top with red parallels to college, I still remember the day as well as their comments.. which later followed by an incident of reduced internal marks, seldom did I know that my marks were hanging on to my salwar sleeves.. yes I am so damn talking about things which happened in an engineering college between 2008 to 2012 period. And now that I recall I only had one image of mine uploaded as a private display picture on my Facebook up until I passed out from that college. The only person who used to upload pictures regularly during those days was severely criticised by both girls and boys alike irrespectively on day and night for the same reason, she is no more, may peace be dwelling upon her soul but I should proclaim that she had to go through hell back then for walking ahead of her times..
Oh yeah, definitely the ones that doesn't fit into that prototype imposed onto them by the society or their male counterparts often fall prey to these harsh criticisms and judgements in one way or the other. Well If I should ever reason out why I used to crop my pictures, it was me just being wise and yeah I kept on remaining wise for a long time. Up until recently when I posted a video of mine, which was an impulse product, it is true that I kind of forgot to check how deep was the neckline which resulted in a tactfully covered up instigating remark on the same a few days after that. When I had to go through that, a damn realisation of how I have also been feeding into the growth of these crappiest mindsets around me by doing nothing about it hit me. ....
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Well, I am someone who has always believed in self endorsing ones lifestyle and anything else that is to culminate out of their passion and interest. I can very well say I have lost something to which I poured my heart, energy and time into for more than two years and when it happens it's like having a miscarriage.. tends to shatter you, even makes you question your very own ideation abilities and that period will almost feel like going through a trial. Never an easy something to go through and on top of that you tend to take the most stupidest diversions when it happens. I think I might be talking about 2021 Nov or Dec and around.. I even thought to blog my daily routine but only to realise that's not who I am almost a month to all of that.
That backdrop pic was my dp there back then; a violation to the usual image dimensions which I allowed myself to share on any social media accounts. Even then all of my reluctance rooted from should I consciously make a decision to raise some brows or not..
But today I know one thing, that kind of hesitation is never going to do you anything good.. Even when you have been making conscious decisions, one glitch is all it takes to be harshly criticized and judged. That's one thing this society and people around you are really proficient at, just realise that.
I have willfully broken that pattern of image cropping already and today is the day I would want to remember for quite a similar reason..
Well..well, I had made this space look almost like an extended personal diary. Over explaining, clarifying my truth, my side of the story, whatever it was.. this space was not meant to be any of that. I think my tolerance level has also improved ( have to be tested and verified though 😉), so yeah I really wish that I never go back to those habits again 🤞. And I would also want to publish all the drafted content here once again so all of these recent posts will be pushed back to the bottom archives.. Let's see.. 😊🤞
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