Feb 25' 24

 What is it that I'm feeling right now ?

About that problem..

It's definitely not a block because I know exactly what I have to write down here, even it's headers, footers and everything in between.. maybe what have gotten into me is an overwhelming feeling.. as in I don't wanna do it here. I mean this feeling and this peace, me and my folks are experiencing, if it comes out of me because I couldn't contain it and we loose it altogether once again, no that's not worth it.. maybe I'm gonna keep it for a later time because I have to write it down someday.

So yeah lets keep that percentage at 50:50. When peace is established within, it is often a delinquency to show it off because that's how you invite it's kick off..

Well my second year orientation started yesterday and today I have atleast 3 hours of industrial sessions and a loads of manuals to go through.. unlike last year it's all super tight this time. So I have to be super focused..🤞

Whats out of my control..

There is a way in which we are being taught we dont have to be affected by what's not in our control but then why does one feel like a bag of cotton immersed in water, so weighted, so tied down when it happens ? Somethings are just for theorems.. well when it happens my daily routine, work, everything suffers and it's often that track filled with potholes. With what is about to happen to my schedules I do have zero accomodation level for potholes anymore.. so yeah if at all I have to go blind or even ruthless to attain that level, that's what I would need..Gods, please be on my side..

I mean my work doesn't have to suffer, my studies doesn't have to suffer, my folks doesn't have to be bothered, my manager doesn't have to take unnecessary tension and all these emotional torment for nothing.. that's not in anyone's goodwill. I can pull out a win-win but accountability is not everyone's cup of tea so yeah I ain't baiting in..

I wish not to be drained out, better time management, better focus, only peaceful things happening to my family from now on, every piece of hard work finding fruition..well nothing much. God's just keep listening and understand I will do everything I can to make it all happen but there are way too many things which are out of my control, so be on my side..🙏